“Dead and Deader”

            I bought this movie a long time ago and I’ve watched it a few times since. The first viewing took me about 3times to get through it completely, having fallen asleep or into the clutches of a good bowl of Count Chocula forgetting about it for another day. I have to say Dead and Deader was completely unappealing to me at first, I’m not a Dean Cain fan and I’m very touchy about zombie movies so the first time I saw D and D I really didn’t want to be bothered. Then I gave Deader a second viewing to get ready for a review and I was mildly impressed with it. Then last night I gave it a third and final chance. I watched the special features beforehand and I really laughed at the painfully funny impression of Chris Rock performed by Affion Crockett. We are also treated to a behind the scenes demonstrations of the zombie prep work and the make-up and effects process, I was now ready for the movie. I actually made a split list of the good and bad that Dead and Deader has to offer and I came up with interesting results, but first an intro.

            Dead and Deader stars Dean Cain (shudderrrrr) as Lt. Bobby Quinn who bears an eerie resemblance to Scott Peterson, sorry but shitty douche-bag blonde highlights kind of takes the piss out the whole tough-guy soldier image if you ask me. Quinn heads a Special Forces unit into the midst of the jungles of Cambodia to a hut where a humanitarian operation once stood. Quinn and his men know something is rotten in Denmark when they encounter a cage full of scorpions and are soon attacked by a handful of vicious and very cool looking zombies. Jump kicks, flips and shooting ensue. We also get to see a zombie who snaps his neck back into place with a disgusting crunch. An explosion kills Quinn and all of his men leaving him infected with the Jindu virus rendering him half zombie. Quinn wakes up at his base in the U.S. , right before his own autopsy begins, much to the horribly rotten, half-assed, and poorly delivered reaction of the coroner. If that was me and a corpse woke up to talk to me I would have been awash in my own piss from sheer fright.

            Quinn is now on a mission to contain the rest of the men who have now turned into blood-thirsty zombies, unfortunately his superiors in the Army don’t believe him and he is considered a risk and is brushed away although he was just declared clinically dead. Along for the ride is Guy Torry (American History X, The Animal) who delivers all of the comic relief for Deader as well as the gorgeous Susan Ward (Two for the Money, Shallow Hal). Cain is very lucky to be flanked by Torry and Ward because they are the Lois to his Clark, and we all know that Clark needs his Lois cause then he’d be gay, and I just can’t get past his horrible fuckin’ blonde highlights. Torry’s character Judson is in the middle of cooking when he is attacked by a zombie, the kitchen scene displays some cool work in the form of a decapitated head rolling into a soupy bulls-eye as well as Torry delivering the line “Welcome to Supercuts Doc!!!” before he sticks the head of a zombified female officer into a ceiling fan. The fantastic make-up and effects work is brought to us via the team of Jason Collins and Elvis Jones, with additional help from Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger, I’m convinced make-up and effects were the heart of Dead and Deader. Quinn and Torry’s character Judson escape the army compound and start to go after the zombies who are carrying the deadly Jindu virus which consists of the host corpse having its own personal scorpion (dumb!!!!).

            The pair walk into a bar where they meet bartender/film student/movie buff/tough chick Holly played by Susan Ward. The bar is soon overrun with zombies that attack the patrons, turning in some of the best action in the movie, as well as a cool midget zombie. The gore and gunshots get heavy giving D and D some weight and street cred in terms of action. Probably one of the coolest scenes is when Quinn sticks a zombie to the wall using dear antlers and then decapitates him with an axe. The trio escapes and change clothes only to end up looking like 80’s throwbacks. Torry in a Michael Jackson Thriller jacket is fucking hysterical and Cain dressed as Don Johnson in Miami Vice is just…disturbing. During a search of a zombie soldier’s home they encounter their neighbor Ms. Wisteria played by Sally Struthers who then eats the cast and crew abruptly ending the movie for recasting, just kidding!!!! Ms Wisteria is played by Colleen Camp who now looks like Sally Struthers, I kid I kid, Ms. Wisteria is played by the always fantastic Colleen Camp (Wayne’s World, Rat Race) (who has always been funny and engaging in any movie she has been in, I’d still give her a twirl.) Camp’s role is too small but she adds to the comic relief. The group is shortly abducted by a renegade group headed by the convincingly evil and spooky Dr. Scott played by Peter Greene (Pulp Fiction, Judgment Night) assisted by Dr. Adams played by the lovely Ellie Cornell (Halloween 4 and 5, All Souls Day). We end up finding out that the Jindu was Scott’s attempt at everlasting life and youth (he is dying from cancer) so he needs info from the group by whatever means necessary. Deader’s climax comes in the form of a zombie outbreak that takes over the compound. D and D turns yet again into a shoot-em up fuck fest leaving zombies with holes in their heads and a tear of joy to my eye.

            I really want to give this movie a break so I’ll start with the bad stuff and get it out of the way. Cain’s acting is fucking pitiful at times, Quinn gets these dramatic stomach cramps due to his insatiable need for flesh, so until he gets raw meat he doubles over like a chic in need of a tampon instead of a half zombie in need of an arm or some shit. Secondly when he starts to zombie out he gets these stupid-looking glowing eyes and a Cookie-Monster death metal voice which is more comical than cool. Now if Director Dinhut wanted it to be comical it was, if not he’s in for bad trouble. Sometimes I couldn’t distinguish if Deader’s intent was to be comical or serious, but it didn’t stop me from laughing. Another problem with Dead and Deader is that it does not command attention. You have to struggle to watch it with your full attention and you may need to watch it a couple of times to get it all in, and to some it may be a tough task because it lags in action at times and you're all Ritalin kids to begin with. Deader roars and then whispers leaving those with a bad attention span the ability to wander off, if you are just going to make it a Blockbuster night with a single viewing of D and D you won’t like it.

            There are tons of good things Deader has to offer. As mentioned earlier the make-up and effects are wonderful and for a low-budget movie they are extraordinarily well-done and are actually better than movies with bigger budgets, the zombie’s make-up and movement were great. Even though D and D can be confusing in terms of its comedy vs. horror delivery, the atmosphere is always light and the chemistry amongst all the actors is great. Although there is a lull in dialogue and action at times it’s not terrible and for a first-timer in the genre Patrick Dinhut has done a fantastic job. Now I know I was shitting on Dean Cain’s acting but let’s face it he’s no Deniro but he doesn’t have to be, he’s good for this movie and the stunts he performed were perfectly executed and believable (you’ve come a long way from Superman babe!!!).          

Even when Cain was in stupid-looking cramp mode or spoke like the Cookie-Monster or a scorpion crawled out of a body it was still entertaining. If you’re a fan of picking out dumb shit in a movie you’ll have a good time with Deader, its chock full of mistakes but it gives it charm and warrants multiple viewings based on those merits alone. With all its flaws Deader is still a cool addition to the collection of any fan of the genre and holds a decent but small spot in the horror/comedy Hall of Fun. I walked away appreciating the effort as this movie is still growing on me, growing like a hemorrhoid but growing nonetheless.