The Hills Have Eyes 2

      Let’s get the bad shit out of the way now; although Hills 2 is a cool movie, it could have been better. Hills Deuce unfortunately falls into the inferior sequel department for all the wrong reasons. This installment was written by the father and son team of Wes and Jonathan Craven and was directed by Martin Weisz (Korn Deuce…I don’t fucking know). HHE2 was shot on location in Morocco which provides the desert, hill, rocky, cave-setting. I love the fact that Michael Bailey Smith was brought back to do the sequel, this time around his character is Hades, he kinda reminds me of Toxi but in a really fucked up way. I applaud the Cravens for the set-up of the movie, the heroes… or victims if you will are a bunch of National Guard trainees who are originally sent to train but end up getting lured into the hills for a rescue, only to find themselves the prey.

      Now, I really shit on movies that have all the elements in play and fuck up when they shouldn’t, and Hills falls into that range, however, Eyes Part Deux is still a really fun movie, the characters die in really cool ways. One character even gets his balls smashed by a sledge-hammer. Let’s not mention the soldier that gets pulled through a foxhole by being ripped into a 180 degree angle….fuck pilates, that boy could stretch now. I also enjoyed the cast and the circumstances they were in, they were believable, likeable, and you could see their progression throughout the movie. What I loved about them was that they are civilian-soldiers in training which gives them room to do dumb shit, and they do… like accidentally shooting their Sergeant. Now at first they don’t know their ass from their elbow and they have zero combat experience, but they learn to come together and fight their way out of the cave, I personally think the soldiers saved this movie.

      Here is where Hills went wrong, special fucking effects. Now I’m not the smartest man in the world but I could swear that in the beginning that there was a conversation between two characters that took place in front of a green screen, if you could have the Cravens write your fucking movie you could pony up the extra fucking whatever-it-is to get good effects. Secondly, the villains were shitty. The make-up was way inferior from the first, the gore was ok but all of the villains looked like what would happen if Sloth from The Goonies fucked his mother and they had kids, which is fine if that’s your thing but it didn’t work for me.

      Overall, although HHE2 lacks the impact of the HHE remake I don’t want to dissuade anyone from seeing this movie. I really liked the story, I liked the soldiers and I pulled for them to survive. The fight scenes were brutal and fantastic and watching the soldiers navigate and fight through the cave with only their basic survival skills and little training was a treat to watch. Hills Have Eyes 2 is still a fun night out to the movies and will be a fine addition to your DVD collection when it comes out. Don’t agree, go fuck yourself.

Violence- 9  
Gore- 7
Acting- 8
Story- 9
Set Design- 9
Make-up- 3
Special Effects- 2
Overall- 7