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Season of the Hunted
Oh man, were do I begin. Ok, let me
know if you heard this one before, man goes
hunting to find out he’s the one who is actually
the prey, sound familiar? Yeah, I’ve heard and
seen it too. Season of the Hunted was written
by Phil Faicco and directed by Ron Sperling who
also played a diner patron in the opening of
the film. Season is about a group of Long Island
boys, (God help us), who go hunting in the
woods and end up the prey of their backwoods,
cannibalistic, fuck your sister, hillbilly
hosts.
Hunted is a movie filled with a wide
array of flaws from editing fuck-ups, bad
dialogue, even worse camera angles, breaks in
continuity, and other shit that just defies
sound as well as logic. Sperling tried to take a
book out of the Savini School of what you don’t
see could have more of an impact than what the
movie actually shows you, and trust me as a
moviegoer it works, just not for them. When the
campers get to the cabin and still don’t
realize that the situation and their hosts are
fucked up, out comes this endless stream of
long, obnoxiously shitty, fonzanoon dialogue.
Seriously, listening to these guys speak is like
being in a bar on Staten Island on a
Saturday night with two greased up jump-suites
with horrible hair-don’t blow outs talking about
their pumpkin-tanned girlfriends. If you’re from
New York or New Jersey you know these guys and
their characters will feel like home to you,
which is why I kind of liked watching some of
them die.
The two surviving characters are
played by Muse Watson and Timothy Gibbs who play
Frank and Steve respectively. Frank is the
perfect combination of Charles Bronson, Elmer
Fudd, Jack Palance and MacGyver. The minute he
steps out of the truck he gets a feeling they’re
being hunted, (it must have been the total lack
of bathroom facilities and other basic human
necessities that none of the other goons picked
up on.) Now Steve’s character development is
classic cause he actually looks like the
mild-mannered, survivalist, macho, George
Clooney look-alike who turns out to be the
hero…Wrong!!!! When the shit goes down Steve
turns into his alter-ego, “Sniveling Bitch-Boy”.
Now Frank ends up killing all of the bad-guys in
the flick all the while watching out for Steve,
his newly acquired 2 year old child who can’t do
anything but cry and throw a tantrum in the
middle of the floor of K-Mart. If there is any
reason to get this movie it is to watch the
degrading, unmanly disintegration of Steve’s
character from a man to a whimpering pile of
shit. Another reason to get this movie would be
to watch the frightening dream sequence towards
the end of the movie, the dream is as vivid as
any of your worst nightmares and the flames
looked so real that I actually felt them in my
living room, p.s.( if you think I’m serious you
must be fucking high right now.)
Acting-10, these guys are so true to
form it’s scary
Dialogue-2, it’s really rough
Scenery-it’s in the woods, 3
Gore- 9, cool blood-gurgling
Plot- 5, done too many times, but they
have balls for doing it
Repeat Viewability- 4, buy it just to
show friends how bad it is
Random BJ from Backwoods MILF- 5, didn’t
make sense but then again those things don’t
have to
Overall: I don’t know, do the math |
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